Yes ~ a lot of focus on our Mission and with activity comes inspiration
Days spent in the garden, cooking and baking - plus catching up with family and friends has had me a little low on the dilly-dally and natterings. Just been feeling a little 'ripped off' in the life stakes, but this too should pass...
Cast off a few black clouds, bad smells and negativity and I'll feel like a new woman. If not for the fact an upcoming birthday contradicts this, I think I could get away with saying I am in my 30s. I compared myself to a few friends of old and I reckon I come away pretty good. I've got two wonderful boys, a loving husband, a roof over my head and food in the cupboards.
Spent this last week in quite an active state ~ warmer weather is SO much better for relieving bone/body aches and pains, plus it puts me in a better head space. Sadly, its only me doing the work with gusto ~ and I reckon it brings me down because I don't have the physical ability to maintain the level of activity required on a daily basis. I know it's going to be a long slow recovery ~ the doctors and surgeon all said so and I really must ignore the 'pseudo' medicos who think they know how everyone should respond because they know a little about OHS or light duties. I'm almost at sitting for an hour, but not every hour every day. I must remember to ignore the know-it-alls.
SO ~ DO WE BEG
In Mands on a Mission, there is a link from todays paper about beggars getting $200-$300 a day and then I found an article where a journalist sat for an hour with a sign "hungry + broke" and got over $100. What hope have we got?
All we've done, Husband and I, is worked a decent day and paid our taxes - then when injury and support is required we get treated like low-lives. I really don't care (much) when it is strangers, but it is the (ex) friends who hurt me the most - especially as our hard earned cash has supported friends and families in the past. [There was a generalised rant here - referring to incidents up to 20yrs+ old - but its not fair on some innocents should it be seen, nor does it allow the opportunity to reply when some are no longer on this earth] With love and kindness we accommodated friends and strangers in times of need, loaned furnishings, gave food from our fridge, freezer and pantry ~ not with any expectation of payment, returning the favour or anything ~ it's what you do for friends, isn't it?? Maybe it is not - this happens, although we notice it is always from a 'same' circle. ** After-thought: And you know what - I think we will always be around for any friend, foe or stranger should the help or care be required/requested...
We are devastated that the good get ripped off and dumped on, the shonky moral-less get away with it. To work and not be paid for doing what was being directed by one, then not agreed with by another - and no explanation just loose comments of 'fixing complaints' - by whom, when and of what? I am sick of feeling guilty for believing the lies, for supporting the manipulative, donating to those who are only there for themselves. Pay me what is owed. Run your business however, just pay me what is owed. Communicate as I have - I won't 'just go away'. Husband and I have both donated time and money to charity, volunteered ourselves to help others, provided more than a minimum, been kicked down and out when asking for help...
So sorry - so tired - time for bed and that's probably for the best. It's none of you guys - I am confident of that. I am angry and hurt and, reassuring you all it isn't you, I needed to vent. I am sure I am not alone in my hurt, in my grief. I just want things finalised, fixed up, finished. Sometimes we all want to know we are doing the right thing ~ and that's not how I feel we've been treated. *sighs* Going now...
Today I must admit to crying
Sitting alone, my soul is dying
Is it worth the pain in trying
I wonder
The ones I trust seem not to notice
I thought to share with them, the closest
It's not of interest, so comes the protest
I flounder
Calling out to the heavens above
Angels, Gods and the Spirit doves
Is there a reason for this strain of love
Or is this the end
No more to defend
I can't pretend
Anymore
Take another's when you've got your own
Then tell all how you were dis-owned
You're more like your mother, should have known
I shudder
Leave away negatives, way far behind
Move to the light where sun shines
We've got tomorrow, you have no time
I'm stronger
Bitterness spreads through family, disease
Trying to support you creates unease
Leave us alone, go back to him please
No longer
Calling out to the heavens above
Angels, Gods and the Spirit doves
Is there a reason for this strain of love
Or is this the end
No more to defend
I can't pretend
Anymore
