Happy House is on the television...

For those not on FaceBook, Simple Savings or any other network ~ there is a documentary on SBS tonight which I have a rather substantial involvement.

Readers of Meanderings have had the benefit of hearing some of the events as they occurred ~ and now it is going to be on television.  Tonight actually.  Nothing like last minute notice hey?!

The House of Food Obsessives ~ or 'Happy House' as I've call it ~ starts this evening at 830pm.  Those in Australia will be able to see it ~ not sure about the rest of the world as yet, although I believe it will be viewable on the SBS website from Thursday and will confirm this once known.

That's really all we wanted to share. 

Goodness knows if it is sensationalised, edited out of context or an absolutely brilliant portrayal of the events and learnings as they occurred... We shall all find out together *grins*

Regardless ~ it was a very positive experience for me, certainly has helped in many ways and while very much steered to the overweight, over eaters it is an area I am continuing to explore, develop and follow. I am not too concerned about others interpretation because there is no way the outcomes from 5 months of filming will be well reflected in two hours of air time ~ just know there is a lot more involved that what you end up seeing. It's been such a wonderful experience and is going to be shared further in time.

For those of you who would like to know why we are so quiet on this blog of late ~ much of the focus has been on Mands On A Mission and I am torn as to which blog the information needs to be placed.  I love the chitter/chatter here but I need to get my home/life in order to find and maintain any balance or progressions forward for me, mine and the whole family. 

OK ~ on with the show....

We'll just call it something...

There should always be something fun to do... 

What a stupid day.

Made some big commitments due to lack of activity today too. We did have a late night, but no more. Giving up on late nights, giving up the apathy, getting rid of the mess. We will be hiring a dumper bin as soon as the rainy, humid, stormy weather eases back.  Three days of this cruddy weather is forecast!

Does it seem ridiculous that, at 40 something *grins*, I feel like I need to re-learn how to manage or structure a day? A week? I certainly know the theory, its the putting into practice I seem to be failing dismally. It's like while the last few years have been a bit of a blur of pain, meds, agony, depression, surgery, change and all that - why can't I find that whatever that used to enable me to rise at 630, open my eyes and administer coffee by 700 before starting the day properly.

I don't like my now. It's boring, repetitive and unproductive. Every night I go to sleep with ideas of change, how it can be implemented. I wake up - and cant be bothered. I have little or no energy, I am eating, but there is no sparkle or highlight to drive me. And little encouragement from the sidelines. Of course, from the outside it would usually look and sound like it is not needed. I think I need someone with a cattle prod to encourage and motivate me. 

Like I said - there are changes being made - not always consistently, not always successfully - but there is much change. I need to find my inner drill sergeant and step to it. To quote "it looks like I've picked the wrong week to give up cigarettes" ~ but no week will ever be the perfect one will it? *sighs*  Onward and upward - tomorrow...

You were always welcome

You always were there

I thought that I needed you

With me everywhere

But ultimately you only

Ever brought me down

You used all my money

Made my life unsound

Oh to throw you out, to give you away

I like you around me, I want you to stay

But you are the poison bringing me down

I feel so much better when you're not around

Since I can remember

You've been here with me

Inside me, beside you

It's time to break free

There's memories you've taken

So false, they are yours

When the cloud haze fades

They're the ones to ignore

So please don't come knocking

Back at my door

No calls on the mobile

I want you no more

As much as I love you

And wish we could play

You're all too controlling

Far away you must stay

Actually thrown you out, I gave you away

Can't have you around me, still others can stay

Found you were the poison, pushed me to the ground

I feel so much better when you're not around

Breathing the air

Clean, fresh and true

No more of the smoke screen

Set up by you

Singing a new song

Comes up from the heart

While I still want you

I've made a new start

Don't forget to visit Mands on a Mission ~ the family effort to ditch debt, save some and grow our own. Enjoy

Been thinking...

It's late...

It's always late. And I am awake with thoughts, words and musings racing around in my head. Sometimes, when Husband has fallen asleep on the couch or the laptop is not in the bedroom, I can do something with all the chatter and it quietens. 

Tonight I've caught up on Mands on a Mission - the journey of debt and its reduction! Actually its more than just the debt, its the actions we take to lower a cost and stretching things between shops so our incoming are more than our outgoings. It's starting to get there - we are dealing with extraordinarily tight margins *grins*

And it is about the only thing that keeps me going some days - the belief that others are out there seeing the way we are coping when a lot more goes on - there seems to be little interest in others, but woe-be-tide if you're not providing the 'right' interest in someone else. I feel so very alone, useless, worthless - I don't even know what I am supposed to 'be' any more. Maybe I am supposed to say what the 'real' problems are with my rehab, my back, issues which have come from surgery, some errors, rah rah ~ but why, at the same time, can't it just be said this happened, still getting there, it's taking time and sometimes we need some help - and that be that? 

I am not disabled, never have been. Currently I have some restrictions and limitations and, unless you are my doctor, I know what I can, can't and won't do - regardless of whether you know someone who was back riding the tractor in 12 weeks, or light duties in 12 months, or doing a marathon in 6 months. Not me, not the same situation or circumstance, you didn't do the operation, you didn't have the operation, how can you make the statement that I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing. And if you think that, why not try to include me or encourage me rather than belittle and antagonise me? Oh I can beat myself up better than any enemy ever could *grins a little sad grin* 

I am now self employed - meaning my employer is me, I am working for me, on me, employing myself - if only in the sense I need to find purpose, direction and satisfaction in the activities of a full daily life. And part of that self struggle is accountability. I can't say how it will work - it's late. It's a thought.

I've been looking for a place where I can shine

For a home I can call mine

A measurement of time

Sometimes touching on the edges of a lie

From the corner of my eye

Expectations I could die

Feeling hopeless,

Feeling blue

Hurt and crushed, confused by you

Knowing now you used me too

Butterflies

I'm used to dancing in a way that I felt strong

Everyone could swing along

An orchestra of song

But infiltrated by the queen who must belong

Pushing through the throng

Without her all is wrong

Talking nothing

Talking true

Not sure just what to say or do

Needing to get out of you

Butterflies

So it's making use of the tools that come to hand

Build them into something grand

If only you understand

Digging deep into the dry soil of this land

Sing together as a band

Feeding water in by hand

Making it happen

Making it new

Finally escaping the grips of the ruin

Breaking free of the tight cocoon 

Butterflies

Go see the other blog - Mands On A Mission ~ hope you can help us and cheer us along *smiles gratefully*

Bogged in the surrounding storms...

Yes ~ bit lax on the waffle and meanderings of late. Partly because there is 'action at the station' and I keep pretending things are going on with some normality while I struggle to stay awake some days ~ and stay awake with thoughts racing all night ~ but getting some de-cluttering of the home and head under way. Wishing it was going along faster ~ part of that is up to me as much as Husband, SmallBoy, others within life's travels. Feeling a bit stuck, more a loss of a sense of self-purpose. It's not like there is not heaps that needs to be done, the everyday and the must-dos, even lots of things I would like to be doing, some of those I'd enjoy doing. 

But nup ~ can't be bothered really, not sure what it is I'm supposed to be doing any way. Ask for help professionally - it gets under way, in time, eventually. Seek support from family and friends - some of them you don't need to ask, others you ask, beg even and get told of your uselessness, faults, flaws. Make change within yourself, communicating your aspirations and directions ~ to repeat the process, and communications again, again, again...

The time of Happy House was a super motivator, losing those contacts and key reminders has had a little negative impact - but also reinforced again that this action is something which is up to me. It's not about being 'happy' or finding 'happiness' but more about finding that inner self peace, a sense of self in a place of satisfaction and bringing that into each moment of every day creating improvement or providing obtainable self-challenges.  

As it is about to screen on television as part of Secrets and Lies on SBS documentary at the end of December, there are some promo pieces to view.  If you have FaceBook you can look at some promotion videos here : 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/House-Of-Food-Obsessives/152612314785370?v=wall&filter=1 

 

Life is a bit like today's weather ~ started warm, calm and reasonably sunny. As the day went on it seemed to cloud over slowly until suddenly the temperature dropped, the skies were layers of greys, blues and blacks, thunder rumbled and the rain just fell! An hour or two of mayhem and suddenly the sun was out, the skies were blue and all was quiet and warm again. Getting a little chilly again, but that's just outside *grins* It is all a bit extreme, but as real as the storms we been experiencing, I do feel like I am being thrown about in a storm which has many calms between each burst of chaos and wildness.

  

 

Spending a lot of time over at Mands On A Mission ~ we've taken almost $4000 off the debt in two months. What a big dent - especially when we only had around the same in income. It's been an effort, but worth it. Some changes will make it a little more easily managed, hopefully! Please come over and have a look. Love to see you if you've not had a visit.

Been wonderful chatting ~ must get things ready for SmallBoy's birthday, then Husband's Christmas work dinner, my sister's Dirty 30 party, another sister's birthday, an afternoon tea with friends and a Baby Shower ~ then I can think about Christmas!
Should have a week to show off the tree and decorations up before the Red Dude arrives...

Ooops ~ time to Meander...

Yes ~ a lot of focus on our Mission and with activity comes inspiration

Days spent in the garden, cooking and baking - plus catching up with family and friends has had me a little low on the dilly-dally and natterings. Just been feeling a little 'ripped off' in the life stakes, but this too should pass...

Cast off a few black clouds, bad smells and negativity and I'll feel like a new woman.  If not for the fact an upcoming birthday contradicts this, I think I could get away with saying I am in my 30s. I compared myself to a few friends of old and I reckon I come away pretty good. I've got two wonderful boys, a loving husband, a roof over my head and food in the cupboards.

Spent this last week in quite an active state ~ warmer weather is SO much better for relieving bone/body aches and pains, plus it puts me in a better head space. Sadly, its only me doing the work with gusto ~ and I reckon it brings me down because I don't have the physical ability to maintain the level of activity required on a daily basis. I know it's going to be a long slow recovery ~ the doctors and surgeon all said so and I really must ignore the 'pseudo' medicos who think they know how everyone should respond because they know a little about OHS or light duties. I'm almost at sitting for an hour, but not every hour every day. I must remember to ignore the know-it-alls.

SO ~ DO WE BEG

In Mands on a Mission, there is a link from todays paper about beggars getting $200-$300 a day and then I found an article where a journalist sat for an hour with a sign "hungry + broke" and got over $100. What hope have we got?

All we've done, Husband and I, is worked a decent day and paid our taxes - then when injury and support is required we get treated like low-lives.  I really don't care (much) when it is strangers, but it is the (ex) friends who hurt me the most - especially as our hard earned cash has supported friends and families in the past. [There was a generalised rant here - referring to incidents up to 20yrs+ old - but its not fair on some innocents should it be seen, nor does it allow the opportunity to reply when some are no longer on this earth] With love and kindness we accommodated friends and strangers in times of need, loaned furnishings, gave food from our fridge, freezer and pantry ~ not with any expectation of payment, returning the favour or anything ~ it's what you do for friends, isn't it?? Maybe it is not - this happens, although we notice it is always from a 'same' circle. ** After-thought: And you know what - I think we will always be around for any friend, foe or stranger should the help or care be required/requested...

We are devastated that the good get ripped off and dumped on, the shonky moral-less get away with it. To work and not be paid for doing what was being directed by one, then not agreed with by another - and no explanation just loose comments of 'fixing complaints' - by whom, when and of what?  I am sick of feeling guilty for believing the lies, for supporting the manipulative, donating to those who are only there for themselves. Pay me what is owed. Run your business however, just pay me what is owed. Communicate as I have - I won't 'just go away'.  Husband and I have both donated time and money to charity, volunteered ourselves to help others, provided more than a minimum, been kicked down and out when asking for help...  

So sorry - so tired - time for bed and that's probably for the best.  It's none of you guys - I am confident of that. I am angry and hurt and, reassuring you all it isn't you, I needed to vent. I am sure I am not alone in my hurt, in my grief. I just want things finalised, fixed up, finished. Sometimes we all want to know we are doing the right thing ~ and that's not how I feel we've been treated. *sighs*  Going now...

Today I must admit to crying

Sitting alone, my soul is dying

Is it worth the pain in trying

I wonder

The ones I trust seem not to notice

I thought to share with them, the closest

It's not of interest, so comes the protest

I flounder

Calling out to the heavens above

Angels, Gods and the Spirit doves

Is there a reason for this strain of love

Or is this the end

No more to defend

I can't pretend

Anymore

Take another's when you've got your own

Then tell all how you were dis-owned

You're more like your mother, should have known

I shudder

Leave away negatives, way far behind

Move to the light where sun shines

We've got tomorrow, you have no time

I'm stronger

Bitterness spreads through family, disease

Trying to support you creates unease

Leave us alone, go back to him please

No longer

Calling out to the heavens above

Angels, Gods and the Spirit doves

Is there a reason for this strain of love

Or is this the end

No more to defend

I can't pretend

Anymore

And she's back...

Miss me? 

The past few weeks have been rather a family affair ~ trying to set up reasonable routines now Husband is my at home carer, not spending money, trying to pay all the bills and de-cluttering our home.  We are no-where near finished, some would say it looks barely started, but we know we've done heaps and can only keep going.

For a little while I've had to think about whether or not to run two blogs or merge both into the one.  For the next few months I am going to spend a lot more time on Mands On A Mission as the family really needs to come first and making promises to children (and extracting promises and commitment from them!!) really need to be honoured.

I've noticed quite a few 'grown-ups' elicit promises from their children to undertake an activity, a job, a change in circumstance for a period of time, only to change the ground rules to suit themselves, telling the kids it doesn't matter if 'things' change. This isn't just the 'give up lollies' or 'promise to do your homework as soon as you get home' type stuff ~ more the we are going to have two vegetarian meals a week (and not following through); give this new school a year or two before saying you don't like it (and letting the child dictate after six months); promising music lessons for a year (and pulling out because 'we don't have the money so you cant have this any more').

Don't get me wrong ~ I know and appreciate things can change or happen to require a change of plans ~ this is more about setting children up to think it is OK to just give up, not commit or follow through if 'you don't like it' or change your mind.

SmallBoy is aware we are on a budget.  He is aware we are trying to only spend money on the necessary things so we can get ahead.  He is not fully aware we are living hand to mouth ~ he gets his three meals and snacks each day means we must be too (in his mind). When he recently said he wanted something . . . but "we can't coz we've got no money" he was corrected with the explanation we are trying to only get the things we need, not things because we want them.  Why should a 10year be left worrying about his parents' finances?

Kids just can't seem to be left to be kids. Too many parents seem to expect their children to be little adults, to lie and cover for mum if she forgets something or say dad has been too busy when they know he hasn't.  *sighs*  I'm just a little worried about a few children we know and the way they are being forced to tell half-truths, follow the 'mantra' and be so secretive about their life.  I don't think it instils confidence, only confusion.

Well ~ a wee rant ~ silly really because how many will think I am referring to them? I am confident in saying it is none of the followers of the blog ~ or is it.... *grins*  nah - its not :D

Pouring with rain, working away on the decluttering of the pantry and kitchen this weekend.  Wish us luck and follow the progress on Mands On A Mission.  It would be a privilege and an honour to have you on board, hopefully seeing dramatic change and cheering us along.

Blah blah blah

Oh it is a case of the blahs...

I think I am sick and tired of aching, feeling sore and unable to function without pain medication. Actually, there ain't no thinking about it - I am sick of it.

I so thoroughly enjoyed myself at Powderfinger but I think if I had the choice again, I would not have gone. Since the show I feel like my legs are not connected properly. My right side is dragging and I hurt - all over. Heaps. I am sure part of this is my own fault, having not being as fit as I could be.

Anyway, if it helps in any way - a lot of changes have been put into place. Most to help get off these stupid pain medications but after 12 years, the pain memory imprint or whatever they call it, is so defined and I just don't know how to change it. Would it be possible to find some type of retreat where you are taken outside of your normal, away from your everyday to enable and empower positive change?

I am too tired to think about these things tonight. Even if there was something available - we can't afford it. Hell we can barely keep everything paid. I want to work, do something but there are mornings I can't even get up, out of bed - the cold here doesn't help - but days like yesterday when I am up, sparkly, doing the morning muck about, chatting to the SmallBoy and his mate who had stayed over. Lay back to rest my back and slept for six hours. What the??

Yes - part of the lethargy is due to not eating, poor eating - however its just not in the budget to afford the items I was able to purchase during the weight gaining months of Happy House. We can barely afford milk - how on earth can we buy yoghurt, or dips or even fresh, organic veggies? Heck I am at the point it is the scrap bin and perhaps I do need to go dumpster diving. But what if I hurt my back?

Oh it is a case of the sad sacks these last few days ~ part of it might be the removal of some drugs from the system, trying to get to all the therapy appointments and do all the exercises being put in place. And as the weather gets warmer, I know it will be easier and more comfortable that it is now. 

Up, down - highs, lows - good days, bad days - and the general apathy that can come along... I think I am just tired of hurting, seeing a glimmer of recovery and then get knocked for six. We notice an amazing difference in mobility and pain reduction when in the warmer states ~ seriously the difference is amazing and it is like the warmth seeps in and 'softens' the ache. 

These last few weeks I feel like I am teetering on a break-down or something. Changes mean I no longer have additional work online or the interactivity to keep me mentally stimulated, but the timing was right to finish up. I am so tired, sore and whenever I rest I end up sleeping for 4-6hrs - great but not in the middle of the day or afternoon because then I'm not sleeping until after midnight. 

I am not very good at managing my pain, there are probably some serious imprinted pain memory paths after 10years of leaning on an angle to alleviate pressure. Poor ~Mands!  Plus the blow to my psyche with the tirade from a former friend has made me realise this is a lonely journey.

Enough of the sooking ~ the only way is up and forward. Yippee

A few more from the Fairy Chronicles ~ I don't think these have appeared previously.

♒ Seeds of Change ♒ βყ ℳ∢η₫☡

It only takes a moment ☮

But once it's done, it's done

Be it experienced with others ❤

Or simply just as one ☺

As gentle as a quiet breeze

As destructive as a hurricane

Someone know its coming up ☯

Some things not seen the same

Yet once planted it can grow

No matter how explained ♫

It sprinkles down, along the ground

And feeds the seeds of change ✰

ℒΦϑє, ʆίφђϮ & ℐﻪ℧ჭɦʈeʁ

☮ ❤ ☺

♒ Peaceful ♒ βყ ℳ∢η₫☡

So quiet is the deep of night

It's gentle silence freeing

Void of light, ears sharpened

Hear Mother Nature breathing

Then little noises there & here

A mouse, a frog, a rabbit, an owl

Scuffles, sniffs & moving brush

A whoop, a squeal, a howl

The pitter-pat of rain & dew

Of distant calls from faery meetings

It's always peaceful late at night

When everyone is sleeping...

ℒΦϑє, ʆίφђϮ & ℐﻪ℧ჭɦʈeʁ

☮ ❤ ☺

This Life..

...well, it's slipping right through my hands  ~  These days turned out nothing like I had planned...

Oh how good were Powderfinger! I think my ears were ringing a little! 'Scuse the absence - recovering the energy to do anything has taken a little longer than I expected. I knew Sunday would be a day for sleeping and resting, however I think the adrenalin still ran through Sunday because things like dinner, chooks, tidying were able to be done.

Yesterday ~ zip. I could barely keep awake to eat. Absolutely wrecked. At least today I am walking without dragging my right leg ~ walking back to the car after the concert was a huge effort, not quite to tears or anything like that, just took a lot longer than I honestly expected. I've exercise therapy today so I might take it easy until this afternoon's appointment.

It's almost the perfect time to wonder what is in store for today, for this week with a quick look at some horoscoops.  Ideally this week a lot of home cooking will accompany a big stocktake, reorganising of the pantry, menu planning and shopping plans so we can have that extra $20 for specials on items like cat food.

The home is a haven for Scorpio individuals during October 19, 20, making it an ideal place to retreat and meditate on circumstances. You?ll get a kick from doing things around the home. 

Excellent - just what I would prefer. A week at home, pottering, resting, being a bit influenced by my own personal beliefs and surroundings. Faded a little as the day has gone on ~ but I'll be up for making pie tonight.  It's on Mands On A Mission as it uses only left overs - my speciality!! *grins*

It's budget day tomorrow, plus I really do need to get stuck into the week's plan. The task's have all been recorded and I am rather annoyed the loading of more items on eBay did not happen tonight as planned and hoped.  If anything, I really wanted to get a few pieces that should get a few extra dollars in so that at the end of the month we can put more into the debt.

Dozing did occur and doing the old exercise therapy was not a success at all. By the afternoon, even with a heap of sleep, the body has proved to not be as strong as the will and the want of this stubborn poppet. *grr* I know, one year expect nothing, second year the improvement starts, the third year is the progress and that's what we have now begun.

Still rather wrecked so I might be back tomorrow but might be playing catch up. As my good wise friend BBJ says: "back to small steps missy" and the horoscope for Wednesday only reinforces this wisdom:

As much as possible don’t pack too much into your day, making the most of the Moon’s last day in a playful and creative part of your chart and Mercury’s last day in a dreamy and imaginative part of your chart. Together they create a day where your creativity and your imagination need to take the lead, ahead of what is destined to be some very busy days, especially on the job front. Leave enough room in your day to dream and imagine.

Time for bed ~ no poems of late - my apologies.  Here are the fairyland chronicles:

The day's dawning brightly

New adventures unfold

The sun rises quickly

A shimmer of golds

Making most of the moments

Put out to share

Time to enjoy the weekend

Hope to see you there

Busy morning ~ just flew in

Time to head out visiting

With little watering can in tow

Who knows whose garden we may go

A sprinkle here, a splash over there

Good wishes to fairies everywhere

ஜ Gratitude and Love ~ Namaste ஜ 

Praise be FairyLand and its visitors

So many dear fairy friends

Happy I've got time for Fairyland again

Making good changes, all looking up!

And finally the time to come run amok

Thanks for blessings and wishes

Shared strength, healing kisses

Going forward with every day

ℱя❀₥ ~ℳ∢η₫☡ & ℑǺℨlყȵ ♏∂ℯ

✿ ℒΦϑє, ℐﻪ℧ჭɦʈeʁ & ʆίφђϮ ✿

Flowers stand up strong and tall

After friendly sprinkles

The sight will always make me smile

And smiling means less wrinkles

For grins are always well received

So are friendly notes

Spread the love in Fairyland

By leaving happy posts

. (

♥))

   ██o... 

A mug of hot cocoa, all ready for bed

Thought we'd sprinkle your garden instead

Of reading a book, or watching a movie

My fairy friends are so terribly groovy

Here's to a day full of butterflies & sun

Most of all see your friends, have some fun

~ Catching up with fairy friends ~ 

Oh joy - another wet frantic day

As you see, all weekend - no time for play

My fairy friends ♥ oh you know me

I'd have rather been here sprinklin' 

We've grabbed a moment to race thru

We wish love and many gems to you

Hello to all, fly-bys, good friends

We hope to splash by - see you again ♥

Chat my tomorrow morning, your afternoon, tonight  

World flies wildly on

There's a mighty storm brewing 

Blimey it is cold...

Wet too ~ its been raining heavily and steadily since late yesterday. We are even expecting snow ~ which I really hope we get (because if it is gonna be cold, it may as well be pretty) but I don't think it will fall much lower than Buninyong. You can smell it every now and again - that icy icy chilled in your nose. *grins*  Actually, it is now snowing - middle of October and it is snowing.

So I think we shall be rugging up for the Powderfinger concert. Food is planned and has come in at under $30 for dinner, nibbles, brunch and cuppas for 8 people.  And that even counts the flour for the pancakes on Sunday!  I am really impressed and think this is better than I expected. I've made cheese twists, making Ferrero Rochers, maybe even home made KFC.

I am a little disappointed the house has not has had as much put into it with regard to de-clutter, sorting out homes for things that should have them, even simply getting the dining area in order without it being left to the last day and a mad panic tonight and even more so tomorrow.  For the moment, I have stopped.  I wanted to post the Mands On A Mission blog post for tonight, because I think staying under budget when it is so tight is worth celebrating.  But right now I am annoyed that my coffee mug motif "If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would happen" does not make me smile.

It's not because of Husband ~ if I start getting into a task he will get straight in there with me and either work along side me or find another area which requires his input or muscle.  Some times I wish he was the one who got it started and got it finished. Yet, if it was not for how Husband has organised the kitchen bench and sink area, that would still be a cluttered mess only he has it so all the working space is cleared and the 'things' that lay on the bench edges have been put away or tossed. We use little things like the bread seal/clips and bread packaging for additional uses, but often they just pile up in the corner. Husband has given them a home, its working really well!

Yes, I have good and bad days - and the days which are the hardest are usually the Day3 patch when I feel more pain, want to sleep because that hurts less, ache. If I am up by 8am, then the day moves on and on those days usually a lot gets done because if I sit, I will fall asleep - it almost cant be helped! I like to read on those days, try not to stress about feeling like a useless bump on a log. On the other two days, once up the day goes - this used to be a trait in my youth, only I required a shower to open my eyes. Housemates have often laughed as I come through from bed, eyes closed, clothes in hand, to the shower and then burst out of the bathroom a bright happy sparkle of hello good morning! I really only need a few moments blinking to get there(ish) now. Still the happy sparkle, little less bright, but possibly more due to 'engine' problems as the beast grows older...

This weekend should have been a goal end date to at least have the spare room set up properly. The minute it was going to be my sister using it, as opposed to our girlfriend, the urgency dropped. Nothing to do with my sister, not that way at all, its more that sometimes you know with family they've seen it worse... *blushes* This will look rather respectable, compared to even the pictures on the Mission page, Mess to Impress. By rights there should have been more action and more pictures there.  I've not even dared with our bedroom yet! But its not too disastrous compared to other 'versions' of the bedroom.

Tomorrow's horoscope:

Knowing how important the next few weeks are going to be, with so much happening, it’s important to get your bearings and to listen to your intuition. Within the next 7 days alone you'll experience both a Full Moon in your work sector and the Sun’s return to your sign, with Mars reaching your income sector just days later. Whenever possible find that still place within, so that you can centre yourself and get your bearings before things really take off.

*sighs* So there is always next week...

I think there was a little excitement from Husband with the sale on eBay. He is not just saying he is keen about our Mission, he is contributing things which have occurred resulting in a win or a lose on the bargaining and savings stakes. He wants to have an area set in the spare room to take pics at all times, using this desk and that cloth. I want the room cleared first, set up to accommodate others, then sectioned off to allow for such an area to be set up. Both he and I want to bring things up from the garage to use, next week is fine, but can we get the items we both know need to be taken out to the garage for the moment out there please?

There is only a little work involved in clearing the alcove and I will probably get most of that finished tonight.  I'd like to sit in front of the television too sometimes.  Especially now the antenna is tuned and there are about 8 extra channels to see and work out - and I am really quite slow on the uptake of all things new - then I run with them like a pro and learn more very quickly. This is the slow, learning phase of digital for me. Another remote to master.

Seriously, if all the empty boxes could be removed, perhaps even put some of the loose items identified for sale in them, and get these into the shed. So easy - by tomorrow I'll have forgotten about it - well, maybe not because I've written it. I just want the spare room, bathroom, bedroom, dining room, kitchen and alcove less cluttered. *half laughs* The lounge, loo, laundry and SmallBoy's rooms are fine. Should be able to manage all of that.

I wonder what could be in-store for tomorrow on a higher level:

Today is the day to break out of your routine! Having the same custom and practice day after day adds positive foundation to your life but leaves little time or space for new developments. Rather than same old – same old change something about your day. By days ends you will have experienced life in a different way and find your mind more open to new ways of being and future possibilities.

Actually I agree with that in more than one way. We've lacked a discipline to manage time in both work and leisure, mostly due to lack of motivation. Other valid reasons exist, but when some plans are made, they are really only 'gunna' plans. I would like to see Saturday as the start of new changes, getting things done. Super-wonder woman my sister who is a tornado of energy and gunna do it now kerpow will be up, so hopefully it will rub off. Taking the SmallBoy to a concert is such a new experience for him, and for us it will have a different feeling compared to concerts of our youth - wild, reckless and up for anything days.

Time to consult with others. You are a truthful person, but others do not always want to hear the truth. Honor and willingness to stay and face the music. You will not run from a situation just because it is uncomfortable. Someone needs to know that you are there for them. Someone has the wrong idea about you. You need to set things right. Expect positive experiences with your religious or spiritual growth. You have witnessed a profound healing and are eager to experience this for yourself. Keep an open mind and heart, but don't expect the same results as others have, you have your own path to walk.

See, in that I see a confrontation, a need to defend myself against someone else's maliciousness or assumptive tongue speaking out as fact. I am tired of that and at a point where it's not my problem what others think or do. I don't wish to seek those who need me to prove myself, if there is something that is a problem then tell me and there is something I can do to help rectify it, I will - but I am not solving, fixing it or taking on the effort to 'pay back' for time owed.

You don't carry your left over time in the day for another day you need some extra. I agree that I am truthful, that others dont like the truth, if there is a problem I will stand and talk it out to a point, I would even be there for my ex friends, their kids, partners, their friends even. I am on my own path and some guidance has come from hearing, listening, seeing in others areas I wish to grow or aim toward. But it would always been done my own way...

Piffle ~ Must be having a grumpy old lady day. Hydro was great today, thinking about grumpy old ladies. *grins* Actually they are more like funny old ladies. They make me laugh and get me full of oomfph for the rest of a Friday. Sometimes having discussions about the 'old days' really does make me wish for a simpler life. Of course, leaving with an "I'll email you about catching up for lunch next week" proves these girls aren't just silly old ducks! I think they are amazing.

Time to disappear. Powderfinger and the amazing tidy will be taking up tomorrow, so I shall see you Sunday. Have a wonderful weekend.  Shall ramble on some more later... *grins*

Wednesday was yesterday still...

I is spying on the little chickies ~ TeddyCat knew spying was OK 

Wednesday was a hump of a day

It was all about updating our Mission, and the meanderings just did not sprout forth.  Had pie for dinner and it was yum. *grins* Rather than wait for the miraculous appearance of MudGuts - Husband collected him unannounced at 930 that morning to help for 3hours before his afternoon appointment. Together the enclosure for the roosters which gives them heaps of space to scratch, eat and get fatter. I have worked out which one is crowing and, well, you know what we are getting around to doing. Just need to work up that confidence. All budget, adding, transferring from there...

Today's horoscope

It was the Moon’s position in your income sector over the last few days that has left you with a greater appreciation of what you want, what you're worth and where you need to stand your ground. With Mars, planet of passion, drive and ambition now just 2 weeks away from your income sector, don’t just hold onto that awareness but start turning it into a game plan. With a second Full Moon in your work sector in just 7 days time, you're better positioned than you realise.

That sounds a bit all-right and today went a little more to plan.  After getting SmallBoy off to school, Husband had a first aid course to do, the TV antenna was finally getting replaced, rewired and tuned, plus I had a trip to the doctor and groceries to get.  This is a big day, but it pain patch Day1 so I do tend to cope better on 'Day1'. In order to save, we don't book private appointments any more but join the general queue and wait for our doctor to become available. It's an interesting way the practice works but at least you can see the doctor(s) you've paid to see for the past 7-8 years and read a book while waiting as a bulk bill patient. It saves over $70 a fortnight, so I am grateful the option is there.

Plus when you wait in a waiting room long enough, and often enough, you do get to chatting to people.  This time there was a mum with a 'terrible two' who had us all in stitches on occasion. Full of one words, he wandered around pointing out items then, with the cheekiest look, he would make eye contact with mum, raise his eyebrows and dash for the stairs - always stopping a good five paces back. Such a fun game and mum, back in heels for the first time in two years for work, would do the silly chase despite a full room. He had a snooze during the wait, so she and I exchanged names and chatted. Before I went in, I grabbed a perfume sample from my hand-bag - 007 by Avon - and gave it to the little guy's mum and let her know I thought she was a bit of a super-hero herself. I've got a few and it's really nice to share.

I think I'd been in about 20mins when Jim's Antennas were in to fix up the tele-vision! We've been saving for this for the past few months - $50 a month in to the savings while Husband worked (and we could manage the stupid debt) and finally booked it in.  The chap who did the work was brilliant - he was slightly early, removed the old cables and antennas from the roof - which can be used in the garden for a climbing something or other - and the whole job came in under budget by $45.  

We'd saved $300 having been quoted $200 for an antenna and $75 labour, plus any cabling from 'another' mob but decided to call Jim's  and Steve was charming. Did I mention slightly early? Anyhow - he had the same $200 antenna, plus another one for $50 extra, stronger, more durable and a 3yr warranty, cabling included and $5 for a plug thing for the cable. Bonus. The vision is great and Husband has enjoyed watching a MotoGP replay on One this evening, the race last week and this week is Phillip Island. It will be great to watch it live and with brilliant reception with the digital HD tuner.

*referral* If you are in the Central Highlands/Ballarat area - give Steve a call, say Mands referred you and if he does the job, he'll send us two movie tickets and Husband SO misses the movies. Movies are on the 'not' list.

We have made one concession for SmallBoy on the whole 'No Spend 2011' which has started now - help, effort and general behaviour will be rewarded at the end of each month with a lunch order from the canteen to the value of $5. Because the little guy has been helpful, doing chores with little grumble, not asking for different things to buy, helping out in the kitchen, we thought that could be his monthly 'bonus'.  Husband has chosen a large cafe bought latte as his reward, as have I *grins*  If we've been really good - we might get a brownie or lemon cheesecake to share.

On with the day, and it was supermarket time *grins*  Currently we have the budget for groceries sitting around the $100-$120 per week mark.  Trying to stretch the budget is possible because we've been at $300 a month in the past - in another 6-8 weeks we should be getting a few things from the garden.

Ending on a domestic note, must scrub the loo and the bathroom sink.  I know its an old crappy loo, but the sink hole - it was the one thing I noticed getting worse and worse.  Initially I didn't have the ability, nor the strength. Until recently, I haven't had the inclination.  It's amazing what guests can make you do. Because we are on septic, I don't want to put nasties in. As mentioned previously, we've never had the 'pongy' tank and we've never put chemical cleaners down either.  

I'm going to use salt to clean the toilet - it's a good natural all-purpose cleaner with an abrasive side to it. If I get in there with a scrubber (and long think rubber gloves), it should clean up the bowl and a little vinegar will pull out the smell.  Just not sure about bi-carb in the septic.  Old memory thinks no. No substance to the thought, eventually I might even google it *grins*

Just not sure what to use in the bathroom basin - it might even be easier to turn off the water and take out the pipe bend - I know it hasn't had a good clean with home care but beggars can't be chosers and the cleaners did vac and mop ok. The first one - Vicki - was always the best. *sighs* She got a great hotel position - not surprised. She was the only one happy, insistent even, upon using pre-mixed home made cleaners. All others 'had to have' those on the prescribed list.  The first bottle or two were...

Late, 'tomorrows' horoscope is in...

Make the most of the Moon’s position in your communication sector and the ability this gives you to not only speak from a place of truth, giving unsaid words a voice but to combine intelligence with imagination and logic with intuition. When emotional and intuitive lunar vibes operate in a smart and savvy part of your chart you have the best of both worlds, especially if you have the courage and confidence to trust what your instincts are telling you.

That's a bit all-right to know too.  What's not alright is that this comes in after 1230am and this means it is after 1230am.  Arrgghh - must go to bed. Not for want or trying, its always after 1am when we are getting to bed. And there are so many things than need to be done. Especially we are now two sleeps away from Powderfinger ~ the forecast is for snow.  Too cool! Freezing even *laughs* 

Actually I think it will be awesome if it did snow because if it is going to be cold, it may as well be pretty and snow while the music is playing. I've started a pile of gloves and beanies so we can just gather them all up to take. Oooo - too excitement.

Do have a pop past Mands On A Mission - especially the weekly report for last week. The debt went down a little and we even made a sale on eBay.

Enough ~ Meanderings out . . .